I must return.

I looked back on how long it has been since I wrote at all. When I first got started it was at the advise from a social work at Hospices of the Valley that doing this on a regular schedule would be go for me.

I believe it was for a while. I took it on with hopes it would maybe help others too. But I feel that it was not going in that direction. But for me the past few years have not gone the way of my dreams.

For the someone who may not have read my story, I have my husband in a care center.
It is called Good Shepherd. They are very wonderful to him. My husband has Alzheimer.
It was diagnosed about four 1/2 years ago. After several months he began having violet attacks. The last one he really hurt me a lot. We called his doctor and he advised that we get someone to take him to the Del Webb. Hospital. I was not to go with them and that I would not see him for at least a month. (Its important to know that action was not Paul, Paul is a very sweet and tender loving man, and would not hurt anyone) During this time they worked on balancing out his meds. In the mean time I was looking for an approved place that could provide for his needs that I could expend. Emanuel Care center was just a couple of blocks from my house and it was great. It was just what Paul needed at that time.After about 3years he began to be go down hill. He know had Parkin's Decide also.

He finally was transferred to Good Shepherd after Hospice of the Valley relieved him from Emanuel and cared for him for a few weeks while I could find an other place with more knowledge and more needful care. We were told that He only had 3-6 mos left. But they gave him such wonderful care that he began to do a lot better. He was realisted from Hospice about 3 months ago. Now they just take good care of him. And no one has the slighted idea how long he will stay here on earth.

Over the months he has had very different things he remembers and forget. They, the care givers stay on top to keep the pain in his back comfortable and him not shacking because of the Parkin's. But they do not over medicate him.
He is always clean and they feed he very good food.

Some days he knows who I am and sometimes he has no knowledge of who I am.
The other day he was sure I was his grandmother. And asking about his Aunt Kat.
One time lately he was very concern about not getting his newspapers delivered.
I convinced him that his Supervisor was taking care of them.
He seems that He is mostly happy there. However I never know when he ups and asks when does he get to come back home with me.

This has gone on for almost 41/2 years.
I feel so sorry for him, and know he needs me there as often as I can. But I am finding it really hard to talk myself into going over there to see him.
I have been having anxiety attacks they are getting worse. I had to have help getting home and some to bring my car home. I was in Sacrament Meeting and it was really great. I had not been worrying are upset or eaten the wrong foods. It just came on suddenly. The meeting was going to be closed down in 15-20 minutes, so I just sat there feeling like I might faint or fall over or something. They say I had turned very white, and they very concerned. I got Geni a dear friend to drive me home and Bhip. Imgrum and Pres. Welch got my car home for me. While they were here they gave me a Priesthood blessing. I was very grateful for it.

Somethings are going right in my life, none with Melissa Conway engaged to be married in the Mesa Temple in March. He is such a nice fellow. They seem to really be in love. Travis is a return missionary and a very nice man. He looks like a really nice keeper.

Tomorrow I should go to see Paul. But I'm not sure I am up to it. Most of the time he doesn't know it is me. But he is so glad that someone is there talking to him.
It is really hard, and I don't think there is a single person that truly understands.

One got lost

Gee, it has been a while since I wrote, but the last one is missing. I guess I didn't Post it right.
This has been a good week. I started off working on my Family History again. I truly love doing that work. I have a awful lot to do. I am trying hard to clear up some of the information and get the right people linked to each other so I can send their names to the temple to be sealed. I did get 92 ordinances sent to the temple for work. I want to try and spend some time each day. I may not always be able, but some days I have more time to get a lot done.
The weather has be wonderful. A little warmer this week-ed, but it is going to cool down again in a couple of days. I get to open the house and let the cool air in the house. I love it. However, the other night as I was sitting in the front room watching TV, around 10pm. a car horn was blown real laud. I was very surprised we are not use to that in this neighborhood. A moment later a coyote walked right by my front door. I was so shocked. I checked right away and my two little dogs were both a sleep in their beds safe in the kitchen. He was moving along, so I wasn't going to go out and look for him.
I've been over to see Paul a few times this week. He has been doing well. He always knows me and acts really happy to have be come. He always makes a big thing about telling me how beautiful I am looking. I just give him a hug and say thank you. It's really funny and the nurses and I wink to each other because we all know he is blind and can't see me. But he is always so sweet. He is always in a good mood.
He has even been able to carry on a short discussion at times. But he does get very weak and tired. We have our evaluation meeting again in a couple of weeks. I am curious how the Doctor and Nurse feel.

A Visit With Paul

Today I went to visit with Paul. When I got there he was in one of his favorite chairs in the big TV room, Very comfortable. He got all excited when I said "hi it me sweetheart" to him and he knew right away it was me.
He said how happy he was that I came.
The TV show Oprah was on and he was having quite a time listening to it. He would make comments about it and laughed with the audience. He was having a really good time. I Shared with him about some things I am working on at home for Christmas.
I had to make sure he knew it still was quite a ways until Christmas. But that was OK.
He seemed to be really enjoying Oprah. So we sat there holding hands and until it was over.
It was time that the care givers were coming and starting to move the patients into the dinning room for dinner, so I left I should go.It was quite a visit. He seems to be doing very well. Thank goodness for all the wonderful care givers at Good Shepherd.

Great Family Night

Family Night was great tonight. Several were unable to come because of family and the Holiday.( Labor Day) So there were only three of us at Geni's. So we decided to watch the 1st Movie of "The Work and the Glory". I saw it years ago when it first came out, but I enjoyed it every bit as much if not more this time.
I'll look forward to the rest coming back next week. But this was real enjoyable.
I'm going to visit with Paul tomorrow.

Quiet Sunday

Today was a very quiet day. I attending Sacrament Mtg - It was very nice. Some wonderful testimoney were shared. There were not many there, I sure that is because of the three day week-end. I didn't stay for the rest I was just too uncommfortable.
So I spent most of the day with my feet up watching some nice program on the TV and crocheting.

Yesterday I visited with Paul. He as glad to see me. Expressed concern as to where he would sleep that night. He talked a bit about Scouting. Mostly confussed, but really likeing my sitting there and holding his hand. When I arrived he had just finish his lunch. The girls were getting him all cleaned up and then moved him to one of the big loung chairs in the big TV room. He seems to enjoy listening to the programs. He gets a little confuse that they might be talking to him. Some times he just laughts.

Tomorrow is Labor Day, nothing has been said about getting together for swimming or BBQs. Chris and Amy and their family are up on I Thnick Mt, Lemon. They say it is really nice up there.

We were told we word get more rain today, but none had come around here. We did a verygood one Friday morning. One of the lightning hit rain thr rained preaty hardnext to us. I jumpout of my beg chair and look all aroud the dog just sorta rolled over and went back to speel.
As for tomorrow Iam not sure hiw I am goig frll I an Sot

Four Angles Came Tonight

I had four sweet Angles from our Youngwomens program at church and their Leader come to my house tonight. They came to clean my celling fans for me. This was there idea. While they were here they also poured two 50lb. bags of whole wheat in to plastic buckets for me and put them in the house. They were so sweet. I knew a head they were coming so I had some milk and cookies for them.
They were so sweet, they really picked up my spirit. It was so nice of them.

Hurray! I got it fixed

Over two weeks ago my Quicken Program went crazy - bad. I got email help from Quicken, each time it helped, but did not solved the problem and I would think I will be brave and figure the rest myself. Each time I would make it worse. It has been very frustrating. I could not be sure what bills had come and were paid. My balances were all crazy. And automatic online payments were being cancelled. The balance was there to pay the bills, but real mix up with a duplicate account on one checking account. The one all my bills are paid from.
Today finally I reached a voice at Quicken, who said he was in India and it was 2am.
It was 2pm here. Most important was he spoke English very well was very patience. He got us set up so he could work directly on my computer. He knew exactly what to do. When we were finished he showed me where the first mistake was made that caused all the mess. He showed me some short cuts and was great,
I was left with having to reset up all my monthly payments and research what was paid and what was not. But at lone last it is done and my Bank and Quicken and me are together again. I will sleep so much better tonight.
I Visited with Paul this morning. He was upset a bit because he had be trebling pretty had. He was asking why he does that. I didn't really answer him. I didn't want to tell him he has Parkison Dease also. I don't know what to do. I had just met with a Social Worker from HOV I sure would have like to ask him for advise on how best to answer him about it.
They are removing Paul out of the HOV care for now. I can call them at any time and they will return. They say he has been stable for two months and that is when they release them. It wouldn't take a day to get him back on. There is no change in cost to me. And most important, there will be no change in is care there.
Again I thank the Lord for the wonderful people there at Good Shepherd.