On The Road Again

Paul seem to enjoy our visit today. He differently enjoyed the pumpkin pie. We are not sure he knew who we were, but enjoyed the visit.

My meeting with Jill today was a bit of a surprise. I expected a few names of Group Homes, but Mercy Care gave her 9 pages of lists and basically said, "Go Find".

I called my friends Carl and Sharon and they said to come over with the list. They went through the names, several they Xoff from bad knowledge about them. Some are in very bad areas of town. Not ones that would be good for me driving to and from. They marked a few they felt pretty good about and the rest I am just going to call and see what I can eliminate and which are worth going and visiting. Laura and I will see what we can do tomorrow.

If we can find a good place who except Mercy Care, we can move him in the next day. So hopefully the place is on the list and we will find it soon.

Paul's Birthday Tomorrow

Tomorrow is Paul's Birthday. I have a pumpkin pie (his favorite) and some candles and my grandson Josef and his sister Sarah Conway are going to go with me. I think he will really enjoy having them come.



Today I got a call from Jill, his Social Worker. Mercy Care is refusing to apply for the change. They are insisting that I look at more Homes that they have contracts with. I am disappointed, but maybe that is the road I should take. Should I fine a good Home that they are contracted with, we can move him the next day. I know it is not good to drag out the time there at Immanuel, it is not what he should have now.



With all the prayers and help, maybe this is what is to be. Laura has offered to go with me Wednesday to see the places on the list that Mercy Care is going to give Jill tomorrow.



Today, Wendy, Mike and Myles came and cleaned up the yard and Myles mowed the lawn. There was a big branch that feel off one of the trees in the front yard from all the bad wind we have had the last few days.(Keeping my sinuses going crazy). They also put up the fence between my house and the neighbors, to keep the dogs in. I have had only chicken wire up since we moved here. The HOA will be very happy. But not as much as I. They were really dears to do it for me. It looks so nice.

Needed Rest

Between the sinus problem getting worse and the computer keyboard acting up I haven't written for a couple days. I have been concerned not getting over to see Paul, but I get nerves going there sneezing and all.

Saturday, my dear daughter Laura and two of her children, Daniel and Marie came over and moved all the furniture in the front room and hall and shampooed the carpet. They were so wonderful to do that for me. I have really needed it. They did the work, but it was hard on me when I wasn't feeling to great. So today I have just rested and I think that might have helped.

Tomorrow if I still feel uneasy about going to Paul's, I am going to have a care giver bring him to a phone where I can talk to him.
Hoping tomorrow I will hear some good news from Jill the Hospice Social Worker.

I did get sad new last night that my sweet Daughter-in-Law Amy's father was in a serious truck accident. He as seriously injured. Her Blog sounded like he was improving this afternoon. Amy and her family are sure in my prayers.

We visited Alma.

I was thinking about how my visits with Paul will be with him not knowing who I am sometimes. The thought came to me. He Loves the Scriptures and is unable to use the CD to listen to them any more. So I planned to see if he would like me to read to him out of the Book of Mormon.
I know that the book of Alma is his favorite.

So when I arrived to day I was pleasantly surprised he did know who I was and when I offered to read to him, he was really happy. We have agreed that I will keep reading to him each time I come. That made the spirit in his room really nice. I know where the thought came from and will thank Him tonight. An other reminder, I'm not alone.

There were not phone calls today. So I am still waiting.
Paul's thumb looked really sore, from the fall, night before last. It's all Red and Black. He said it was sore, but that he didn't hurt any where else. I'm really glad for that.
Hopefully there will be some news tomorrow before the week end.

A Sneezie Day

With all the wind the past few days and my moving the dust all around yesterday, my sinuses are acting up again. I am sure I am joining many right now.

I got a call from Paul's Social Working from Hospice of the Valley, Jill. She is so nice she is going to see about speaking to the case worker's supervisor to she if we can get thing going faster tomorrow.

The owner of the Group Home offered to lower the price for a month if I wanted to pay it. She is really nice, but that is not a possibility. I am hoping for more positive news tomorrow.

Scrub and Clean

So what do you do when you have big concerns about someone you love and you are waiting on others to do their job? Scrub and clean the house. At least most women would do it that way. So my house is cleaner. Things I have been wanting to do. The odd things. Changing batteries, cleaning dust boards, cleaning spots of the carpet. Spraying weeds. Cleaning all the old dirty rags. Getting all the leaves of the patio after all the wind this week-end. Did it help? Well, I fill good about them not being able to bug me now.

Today we, Hospice of the Valley and I, tried all day to find the right person who had authority to get Mercy Care moving on transferring Paul's coverage to another company so he would be covered and able to be moved into the Home we found yesterday.
But, the Mercy Case Worker did not want to be of help at all. She at this time, holds the power. This morning she was telling me that it will take at least 6 mouths to get such a thing done. Then after several calls made by me and Paul's Social Worker, the Social Worker got his case worker to say she would try to get it through faster, but it could still take a month.

The Social Worker, the owner of the Home and I, want to move him. The friend that works for Hospice of the Valley Carl, agreed that he knows it can be done faster than that. He has seen it done in a mater of days.

Hospice, the Doctor and Nurse all agree that Paul needs to be moved out of there to where he will receive more care. And, he needs it now!

Well, maybe I'll mop the kitchen floor. It can always use some mopping!

........

I was just ready to end when I just got a call from Immanuel where Paul is at, he has fallen again! The care giver said he is not hurt except for a small cute on his thumb.

Now I know I will mop the kitchen! And then I'm going to talk with my Father in Heaven.

To Day I Went to Find The Place

To day my sister Teddi and her husband Jim came over from the far side of the valley to take me looking for a Group Home for Paul. After my last visit with Paul on Saturday I was made very aware that he is really slipping away. After we had talk for quite a while He asked me if I was his mother. Once I caught my breath I explained that I was his wife Raenell. He didn't know who Raenell was. This was the first time for this experience and I knew I really needed to take action. So I planned to go looking for a good Group Home. Paul's Social Worker had given me the names of two possible places that would except ALTEC and Mercy Care that Paul is approved for. Mercy Care I find out does not have a good reputation for paying their bills on time, so not too many places will except patients with Mercy Care.



Looking for the right place is not the most fun. I found that out when my sisters and I were caring for our parents a few years back. So my sweet sister offered to come along. As I was getting ready this morning I was inspired to call some friends of ours that have been in the adult care services most of their lives together. They are great and loving and have known Paul since we moved out this side of town. When I called, Carl told me of a wonderful place that he goes as a Hospice Of the Valley Care Giver. He said it was the best he had ever seen in the valley. He goes three times a week to help another resident there.



I felt really good about it so I added it to the list. Yesterday at church several came up to ask what could they do to help out, hearing that Paul was not doing well. My response was "Please pray we will find a good Home for him" knowing it was going to be hard.



So off we went. The first was a Home ran by a young husband and wife with 3 or 4 small children. They were nice (she was tiny, about 80 lbs. Teddi guest). There was no way I would fill comfortable about that place. Next was a place up north next to the hills. We were coming from a different direction than from my own home. As we kept going we thought the area look familiar. When we arrived, we couldn't believe our eyes. It was the same home our mother had been in for a year or two. It was really a surprise, but not one we were really happy about.

It was under difference owners and looked fine, but they had filled the room they had over the week-end. We were kind of glad. Mother ended up not very happy after a while there and that didn't leave very good memories. So that one was off our list.



Next we went to the one Carl recommended. It is very near where my sister Christine lives. When we got to the door, even before it was opened we had a good feeling. And as we went through the lovely home and met the residents and those who worked there, we were so excited. The residents kept telling us that this was the best place to be. They have two rooms available and would love to have him there. We have to do some changing of health insurance from Mercy Care to one of the others that cover that home, but I was told by Hospice of the Valley this afternoon that could be done in 48 hours.



There is no question in my mind tonight, that those prayers were answered. I was not alone!

You'll Never Walk Alone

Why, You'll Never Walk Alone? Well many years ago in my life when I thought my world was coming to an end, before it really had began, my dearest friend, who also played stringbass with me in the high school orchestra, as I was standing one day teary eyed, drew my attention to the music we were playing, it was "You'll Never Walk Alone" from Rogers and Hammerstein's musical "Carousel", when she said, "Listen to the music Raenell, that is your song."

And it has been though out the years as trying times have come into my life. I have had the blessing of not having to "Walk Alone". As these times have entered in my life, there has always been a special friend, my wonderful family, or and most important my Savior walking with me. Of course I know it was my Heavenly Father that gave me my friends and family to help me.

One of these special friends' name is Paul Cold. After being a widow for fourteen years I was about to become the only one left at home. Children do grow up! The phone rang one day it was a stranger. It was a guy named Paul Cold. We had a long time on the phone and decided to meet.

When he came to my door, I opened it and saw my "best friend" and his wonderful smile. And as they say "the rest is history". A few months later following in love, we married.

Over the next few years we had great times sharing our families, traveling, camping, serving in our church calls and trying times. During those hard times, grandchildren with critical health problems, death of both of my parents, brother-in-law and a niece, he Walked With Me.

In the past two and a half years my dear friend and husband has been gone. He has been a resident of an assistant living care center with Alzheimer a degenerative brain disease. I have been watching him slowly loosing his ability to care for himself as he has he became more and more confused. Though his sweet spirit has hung on even in the confusion.

He has now rich the stage where he needs much more complete care and must be moved to a group home that is capable of providing for his special needs.

I was told a week ago that he now is qualified for Hospice Care. This means that he is expected not to live longer than six more months. Over the past few years (as we were aware he had Alzheimer for some time before he entered the care center) I have been able to cope fairly well.
Now that he has reach this stage, I realize that I am entering an other one of "those times".
And I am needing to remember my dear friend of my youth and her advise of many years ago.

While reading the handbook that Hospice of the Valley gave me last week I found the advice of keeping a dairy that I might share with the family. As I thought of this I felt that this could be a real help to me and a way I can share with my friends and our families this "trying time".

It is my hope that as I try to keep you informed and share with you this time it will help you and me to not Walk Alone.